Deacon Ross

1. In Japan every corner has a random dude dressed like ice cube ready to fight you, or some dude pestering you into going to a strip club. This makes running errands very difficult

2. In Japan, cops are seldom called when someone slicing people in half with a samurai sword on the streets, most of the time people cheer.

3. In Japan, reverse mugging is a common thing, someone jumps you, and they end up paying you, or giving you a cheap watch.

4. In Japan, thugs carry around women’s perfume.

5. In Japan, if you want movie tickets, you must do a favor for a stripper, trade her necklace for a sword, kill 10 yakuza, earn 300,000 yen, and speak with the prime minister who will then hand you movie tickets only if you take his daughter on a date.
Still sounds more entertaining than Des Moines